The Talk With No Name

Perhaps you’ve heard the common colloquial phrase: “There are two types of people in the world.” It is usually followed by two categorical labelers, such as “there are those who do, and there are those who do not.” The specifics of the phrase vary, depending on your source. For example, ask a mathematician how many types of people there are in this world, and they might tell you there are 10: those who understand binary, and those who do not. Or ask a Harry Potter nerd like me, and I might tell you there are only four types: brave, smart, evil, and miscellaneous.

This statement – “there are two types of people in the world” – is not new. It has been used as an anecdotal starter for centuries, surviving the conversational shift of time with the introduction of social media and memes, and it will likely continue to be a favorite of ours, because honestly, we love placing people into categories. We like to label things, because if we can label something, that means we understand it.

Labeling something isn’t inherently bad. Labels can prove quite useful when baking. If, for instance, you have two identical bins filled with white powder, you might not know which one to add to your batch of sugar cookies. But if they are labeled, then you can avoid the mistake of adding one cup of pancake mix to your cookie dough batter, instead of the actual required one cup of flour. This is obviously a hypothetical example, but hypothetically speaking – those cookies tasted really really gross. I don’t suggest you repeat my mistake.

Other societal labels can help us build associations or networks – such as when you join a political party, or identify with a specific group or religious organization. Yes, labeling can be grand, but there is also a foundational danger in building your understanding of someone or something off such superficial qualifiers as “he’s a Democrat” or “she’s a Mormon.” This can instill in us a natural tendency to begin judging others based entirely on their “qualifiers.”

As your average, fallen, daughter of Eve, I am especially good at this. As a matter of fact, I’m what you might call a hobbyist heckler. I take great joy in adding my own personal commentary to things, especially from the back of the room, and often with a ridiculing tenor to my voice. But when left unchecked, this fun and entertaining activity can turn into a grouchy and unforgiving way of life. Dr. Craig L. Oliver, senior pastor of a Baptist church once taught that “the initial danger of the unforgiving heart, is its potent ability to tether its victim to the past. The unforgiving heart is masterfully adept at impeding forward progression…it immobilizes the individual by chaining them to past hurts, experiences, and situations.”

There are, of course, so many wide and varying circumstances to consider here. It is easy, to say, forgive your older brother for stealing your bike, riding it to school, and thus forcing you to walk alone in the 100-degree heat. I’m clearly not holding a grudge over that. But the harm sustained from abuse is understandably harder to forgive. Those who have been emotionally or physically abused should not be judged further for finding it difficult to forgive those who have done them wrong. Feelings of anger, fear, and rage are not a sign of weakness, rather a natural, human response to such horrific events.

It is important to note that, though hard, these emotions can be changed. Perhaps the difference between a forgiving and unforgiving heart is that the forgiving heart recognizes a need for help. A forgiving heart turns to the Lord, giving him the control, allowing him to take the lead.

Consider this: Most grievances take from us a level of energy and attention that goes unnoticed, and is often not reciprocated. We can end up spending years dedicated to being angry and hostile toward someone who has moved on with their lives: someone who rarely, if at all, gives the situation that *you* can’t get past a second thought.

Forgiveness is at the very heart of what it means to be a disciple of Christ. It is a label the Lord has asked us to take upon ourselves. He said, “by this shall men know, ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” It is a personal attribute, not simply a decision we make from time to time, or when we feel like we should. It illuminates in our hearts the truth of God’s love for others. Bishop Roderick J. Linton once said that to have a forgiving heart is “to forsake the tendency to judge, condemn, exclude, or hate any human soul. A forgiving heart seeks to love and to be patient with imperfection…it understands that we are all in need of the atonement of Jesus Christ.”

While it is natural to feel hurt when someone has wronged you, the harsh and scary truth is that refusing to forgive another can be a sin greater than any original offense, for you are, in effect, attempting to deny the blessing of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to a child of God. You are denying them the right to repent, denying them the right to the companionship of the Holy Ghost, and in so doing, you risk losing his presence in your life as well. Forgiving means you trust in the Lord’s ability to work through his Spirit in healing the hearts of others. The Spirit of God can be like a fire in your life. When you forgive, you fan the flame, causing it to grow, providing warmth to you and to all those around you. But an unforgiving heart puts out the flame, dousing one’s ability to feel the warmth of the Savior’s love.

There are not seven or ten or even just two types of people. There is one: those with a human heart, and a human heart can forgive.

As my good friend, Will Smith once said, “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” And I leave that with you as my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Imperfect Perfection

Years ago, the comedy duo of Abbott and Costello delivered a routine that I’m sure most of you here have heard called “Who’s on first?” In quick summation of this: one friend asks another for the names of the ballplayers on the St. Louis baseball team. In response, his friend says – quite seriously – that “Who” is on first, “What’s” on second, and “I Don’t Know” is on third…this of course leads his friend to ask “Well, do you know the names of the players on the team?” to which his friend replies, “that’s what I’m telling you! Who’s on first, what’s on second, I Don’t Know” is on third…” etc. etc.

This playful banter goes on for another few minutes or so before the friend finally realizes that “Who” is the guy’s actual name.

Now, there is a term for this in the study of logic: it’s called ‘equivocation’ – and it’s a fallacy that results when you call two different things by the same name.

Equivocation is something we struggle with a lot in the English language. In fact, I could probably count on one hand the number of words we have that only comprise of a single meaning.

Keeping that in mind, I’ve chosen to focus today on a very specific classification of the word “Grace” – fully aware that this is not the only possible definition for such an extensive term. Today, I focus on Grace as a noun: a noun which I would define, in its most simplistic terms, as “the enabling power of God to become perfect.”

It is important to point out that I do not mean “the Atonement.” Sometimes in the church, we arbitrarily interchange these words as if they were the same thing. This is yet another logical fallacy I hope to avoid today: the use of false synonyms. The Atonement itself was an act – a moment in our eternal history that reintroduced the power of grace to the earth. For the purpose of this talk, I ask that you simply separate the two terms in your mind.

Considering Grace as a noun will help both you and me to better understand the topic I was asked to speak on: How the requirement for grace is not perfection, but rather to simply desire grace, turning towards Christ.

Sound great, right? But if there’s one thing you’ve learned about me in the last five minutes, I hope it’s that I overanalyze everything I read, and the statement above is no exception. When I first read it, I was conflicted because this idea presupposes two things: first, that there is a requirement for grace – something I, at the time, completely disagreed with; and second, that this requirement is often misunderstood or incorrectly defined.

Now, that second assumption I can totally get behind. As I’ve already stated – I think we all suffer from a bad case of ‘misunderstanding’ when it comes to words defined. But that first assumption – that there would be a requirement for grace – took me days to appreciate. I mean, wasn’t it Moroni who says that grace is a gift we have all received, regardless of our worthiness for such a thing?

Of course, there could be multiple answers to this – considering there are multiple definitions of the word grace – which is why, as I mentioned before, I have decided to focus entirely on grace as a noun – an actual thing: the very real power of God that allows us to become perfect.

                Let’s suppose for a moment we just accept this idea to be true: There is a requirement for grace – perhaps even more than one. If we accept this, then the next logical step is to try and define those requirements. Perhaps it is that we can only receive grace after we have done all that we can do, as 2 Nephi 25 would suggest. Or maybe, as stated in Moroni 10, we can only receive grace after we have denied ourselves of all ungodliness.

                I certainly do not doubt the divinity or the actuality of these statements. But we could easily misinterpret the both of them to mean that in order to receive grace, we ourselves must become perfect. But this answer doesn’t work with the definition of Grace as stated before: if Grace is the power to become perfect, but ‘perfection’ itself is the requirement to receive this power, then we find ourselves facing a paradox.

                In order to better understand why this concept cannot possibly be true, let’s talk about the Plan of Salvation.

                As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that every soul existed in Heaven with God before we were sent here to earth. It was there that we believe we were presented with a plan – God’s plan – that we would come down here to earth to receive our bodies, to learn and to grow, and eventually to die and return to live with him.

                Satan, however, presented another plan: a plan that would ensure that every soul would return in the end. In essence, he was basically suggesting a plan of “perfection.” We would leave our Heavenly home as untarnished beings, and then we would return in just the same, “perfect” condition.

                So why didn’t we choose that plan? If becoming “perfect” is the very purpose of life, then why would we not choose the tactic with a 100% guaranteed “perfect” outcome?

                That seems illogical.

                Yet, all of us here chose God’s plan: we chose to be sent to an earth which would fall – making it impossible for us to return to his presence without redemption.

                It is my belief that we chose this plan because, at the time, we understood the concept I have spent all week trying to re-understand: We understood that the requirement to receive God’s grace is not perfection, but rather imperfection.

                Think again to the dilemma we faced before – if perfection were the requirement for grace, how could we ever hope to achieve it? It was in understanding this that our Heavenly Father presented his plan. He knew that imperfection was, in fact, a prerequisite for grace. Thus, he knew that in order to receive this grace, we would first need to inhabit an earth in which we could become imperfect beings – for it is a law of Heaven that unclean things cannot dwell there.

                Christ himself was imperfect when he received the full grace of God. Now, don’t get me wrong – I am certainly not suggesting that Christ was a sinner. It is entirely possible to be free from sin and still be imperfect. Part of the “perfection” process (and part of God’s plan) was for us to receive a body, die, and then be resurrected in glory after receiving God’s grace. This was only made possible because Christ himself went through the process first. His atoning sacrifice – made in a sinless, yet imperfect, un-resurrected body – is what allowed for us to receive God’s grace too.

                Satan’s plan did not allow for this. His plan completely eliminates even the hope to receive God’s grace.

                Now, let’s talk for a moment about the term ‘oxymoron.’ An oxymoron is when two apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction with each other. “Bitter sweet,” “civil war,” “crash landing,” “even odds,” “ill health…” these are all pretty common examples of an oxymoron.

                I’m reminded of another one – presented to us by the villain of the Incredibles, and I quote:

“I’ll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. *Everyone* can be super! And when everyone’s super…*no one* will be.”

                In the scriptures there is a particular oxymoron that has troubled me for years: we’re told in the doctrine and covenants that “the worth of a soul is great,” and yet just a couple of books over we’re told that “man is nothing.” How can these two oxymoronic statements both be true?

                It is with this question in mind that I bring up another fallacy we’re often guilty of - this one called “a false dilemma.” In the past, I read these two verses of scripture and assumed it was an “either/or” situation: either a soul is great, or it is nothing. The “false dilemma” fallacy has taught me that this is not true: that there is at least one other possibility. It is entirely possible that man is both great and nothing.

                Adapting this to my topic – I believe that the requirement for grace is imperfection because to be perfect is to fully understand the effects of both good and evil. It is as the great Sirius Black once said: “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

                It is on this "call to act" that I end my talk:

                Choose to be good. Choose to accept the light. But more importantly than all, choose to accept both the light and the dark in others.

                No one is perfect: this seems simple enough to accept when we are talking about the sins or mistakes of others, or when it means justifying our own sins as something “natural” that “cannot be helped.”

                But the road to grace is not paved in the black of sin. It is a road paved in every spectrum of light – from the darkest moments of humanity to bright and celestial glow of the Gospel.

                I pray today for the strength to accept my weaknesses, but more importantly, I pray for the opportunity to see and love the strengths and weaknesses of others. I am grateful to be a part of this imperfect world, and these things I leave you, in the name of Jesus Christ – Amen.

               

To my friends who are currently in emotional joy or pain:

May I offer a suggestion?

I promise it’s not mean.

I’ll even do it in Harry Potter metaphor for you - because honestly, how could I not?

Dear Muggles…many of you are hurting: many of you feel fear.
Those are very strong and powerful emotions.

Many of you right now are rejoicing: you feel you have won a great fight.

That is also a powerful emotion.

But emotions are good: Emotions are healthy.

Pixar has taught us that Disgust, Anger, Joy, Fear, and even Sadness have an important role and place in our lives.

Emotions left unchecked, however, can lead to horrible or even harmful actions.

Now…here comes the Potter analogy – as promised:

Harry’s 4^th year at Hogwarts was crazy, right? (Note: spoilers ahead for those few who haven’t read the books/seen the movies.)

After a highly stressful (and emotionally charged) competition, Harry was not only forced to watch the man who left him an orphan come back to corporal form, but also forced to duel with him - on an injured leg and after watching a fellow classmate die.
If he was feeling anything that night after landing back on the Quidditch field, it was emotion.

Lots and lots of strong and charged emotion.

But did those who cared about him simply leave him to cry about it? Did they just “give him his time” to mope?
No, not exactly.

The first thing that occurred (after he was rescued from yet another life-threatening scare) was his talk with Dumbledore. The headmaster, wise in his years, understood that “numbing the pain,” even just for a while, will only “make it worse when you finally feel it” (Goblet of Fire). Albus Dumbledore – someone who Harry both cared for and trusted – allowed him, even forced him to talk about it: privately and in the presence of his emotional buffer and confidant (Sirius Black).

And he did not interrupt – except when he needed further explanation for a better understanding of emotions/events.

It was only after Harry had spoken that he was allowed to sleep: and sleep he did! Though he had been injured that night physically as well, his stay in the hospital wing was purely for his emotional well-being. Those wounds that had been caused physically were cured instantly by magic, but he still needed to take the important time to recover inside as well.

Then, once he was a little more himself, he was able to make a more logically based plan with others who also felt threatened by the change that was about to happen (even those who might not be directly threatened – like pureblood Neville Longbottom – fought by the sides of those who were targeted by Voldemort’s hate-crime campaign).

Now, this suggestion of “healing” events is meant to be for those who are feeling any type of emotion right now – be it joy or fear, hatred or disgust, or especially sadness.

Sitting around and sulking in too much of any emotion (especially one heightened in moments of adrenaline or depression) can lead us down a spiral of regret. If we are not careful during this time, we can not only destroy a lot of really valuable relationships that many of us have had a long time, but we are also in danger of causing contention to rip through our nation – even enough contention to result in another war.

If you are in need of someone to talk to about how you feel – please seek out someone you care for, trust, and love – someone you know will listen.

Talk to them: spill your guts. Get it all out. But then allow yourself the time you need to recover before you make any rash decisions.
I understand that life doesn’t stop happening. I get that you can’t just take days off work to get back on your feet again – but being emotionally healthy is just as, if not more important than being physically healthy, and there is no shame in taking any free days you get (or in making the time yourself) to seek help. Do whatever necessary to talk to those who can help heal you – help to move you along life’s path enough to take the next step yourself (be it enjoying the race you feel you’ve won or fighting for those causes you feel to be threatened).

Please don’t use the internet as your outlet.

Social media has a way of amplifying the underlying emotions and spreading them like wildfire among the trees. Notice that Harry didn’t report everything that happened to the entire school – he just told Sirius and Dumbledore, followed by a select few family members and friends.

Emotional situations are much better handled when discussed one on one.

Now, if you don’t have anyone you feel you can turn to – please feel free to private message me. I will listen to anything you have to say, and I will always do my best to respect your feelings and your privacy.

There are also many professionals you can turn to – people who are literally paid to just sit and listen and help you sort out your mind. I am (obviously) a firm believer in this type of treatment, and there is absolutely no shame in ever admitting that you need it – especially to those of you who feel threatened right now.

Finally, I would just like to say to those who are feeling immense happiness and joy right now – please remember that some of your friends are not. Even if you don’t understand it, just be aware of it.

I’m not saying you have to go around and hug every single one of them. I’m not saying you have to be “careful” and watch everything you say. But be aware. If you cause offense, even unintentionally, be aware enough of their emotions to apologize. This was obviously more than just your usual election: this has been a very heated and extremely emotional year for all of us, and no matter what outcome would or could have happened Tuesday night, we were going to have scared and broken hearts on either side.

There has never been, nor will there ever be a president up for election who has not threatened the security and happiness of at least one citizen in their country: that’s just the truth of it. But the correct way to respond to that has never been to lash out at the citizens who voted for him (or her – had Hillary won), but rather to use those freedoms the constitution of this country protects – the freedoms that allow us to peacefully and yes, even publicly fight for our rights (or the rights of others).

If you decide to step across the lines of respect and turn to hate, violence, or any other crime that infringes on the constitutional or basic human rights of another, then you must expect to be punished by the law: politicians included.

Yes, I know this doesn’t always happen. Guilty people get away with crimes (especially hate crimes) every day. That is why we have the right to step out and speak against it, and the right to accuse those of crimes for which they stand guilty. We do NOT, however, have the authority to punish them ourselves. We can help alert the authorities to crimes, and we can even alert them to miscarriages of justice, but punishing others ourselves only ends with self-incrimination.

I’ll just end with this:

Right now, Obama is still our president.
Right now, we must continue to pray for and support him in his duty to protect and serve the American nation.

Come January, that duty will fall on Donald Trump.
I wish him all the help in the world. He will be the one standing at the helm of this ship – along with the members of congress and the supreme court who currently serve as well.

Wishing him ill is wishing ourselves ill.

If Donald Trump does, however, deliver on some of his promises (which up to this point are just a bunch of hateful words) then he should and hopefully will be punished by the law, same as anyone else, and I invite you all to exercise your constitutional rights to fight against such things happening.

This is why things like Impeachment exist.

This is why the system is set up the way it is: because humans are all imperfect, and thus we elect imperfect people to the presidency…and sometimes they cross a line.

And with that, I wish you all a good (and safe) night.

An open letter to the President of the United States of America

To President Barack Obama,

                I did not vote for you. During your initial campaign, I was still in high school and thus too young to vote; when you ran for re-election, I found that the change I wanted to see in this country wasn’t exactly the change you were promising to take with you to the presidential seat – so once again, I did not add my voice to those in your support.

                But never once, in the past 8 years, have I questioned your devotion to this nation. You have done your best to honor and serve the position you have held, and I have faith in your ability to continue to do so throughout the remainder of your days in office.

                We may agree on many issues, we may disagree on more – but my voice isn’t the only voice in this place I call home, and you have done your best to listen to the ones that are struggling far more than I. You have heard the cries of those in oppression and taken strides many would not take to bring them out of obscurity. I have a deep admiration for your ability to calm the crowd, to stand tall in affliction, and above all – to love, without prejudice.

                You stand where many, and yet few men have stood before – at the end of your road as our nation’s president. While few understand the burdens you’ve held, and even fewer the steps you’re about to take, I want you to know that you are not alone. We may be different – so very different – in our personal and our political beliefs; nevertheless – I am honored to have known a nation under you.

                You are not leaving behind a legacy of war. 

                Thank you. 

                You have not dislodged the important freedoms I hold most dear. 

                Thank you. 

                You have not cast people out, nor closed the doors to this nation of second chances. 

                Thank you. 

                You have striven to stand behind the Constitution of the United States – upholding its principles and laws to the best of your understanding and ability. 

                Thank you. 

                Finally, and perhaps most importantly of all, you have stood by your family through thick and thin. You have understood that – be it blood, bond, or borders that bring us together – family, above all, comes first.

                There has been a sad legacy of infidelity with some leaders in our past – one that the stress of your job might, to some, excuse – but you have stood by your children and your wife, putting them first in all. Never once have I, nor the public, seen you neglect that role of father and husband: one that stands of much greater and eternal purpose than the role you will retire at the start of next year.

   You have always put us second, and your blood first, and for that, I am extremely grateful. You have shown a remarkable ability of devotion under the scrutiny of a public media eye looking for disgrace; for that I applaud you.

   Thank you for your limits – for being human, and accepting your faults.

   Thank you for showing your willingness to stand – accepting your role as a leader during difficult times.

   Thank you for sticking to those goals you cared about most – even, and especially when they were goals that were not met with universal approval.

   Disagreement is what makes this nation strong. The choice to even have a voice – in approval or dissent – is a freedom not all nations share; and that my voice can be heard without fear of imprisonment is something for which I will always be grateful.

   Perhaps I will never find my “perfect and ideal” president until I am the one walking through those oval office doors; Even then, I’m afraid I would greatly disappoint my expectations.

   For this, I am also grateful.

   I am grateful to live in a world where imperfect people are willing and able to serve those just as imperfect as they. I am grateful for change – for the chance to learn and grow from others, of a different race, culture, and belief. I am grateful to be a citizen of these United States.

Thank you, President Obama, for your years of service.

Thank you, President Obama, for the months that will come.

I am proud to have you in my country’s history.

Sincerely,

  A citizen of the United States of America

P.S.

             Don’t worry about Tuesday. It will come and go.

             No matter what happens, you have at least one voice here ready to support whoever fills your seat, regardless of whether or not they got my vote. 

Happy birthday, Harry

Blaise: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular.

Hat: Watch out Slytherin! Fresh meat coming through!

Neville: What do we even talk about?

Hat: Ashton Kutcher.

Neville: Is that a band?

Hat: HUFFLEPUFF! (...jk - Gryffindor).

Hat: Nice wig, blondie. What's it made of?

Draco: Your mom's chest hair!

Hat: SLYTHERIN!

Patil girl not in Gryffindor: Yeah, I like math.

Hat: Why?

PP: Because it's the same in every country.

Hat: That's beautiful. This girl is deep. RAVENCLAW!

Umbridge: *sit in chair*

Hat: You go sit with the Slytherlastics. On Wednesdays they wear green.

Harry: So if you can talk...why are you a hat?

Dumbledore: Omg, Harry, you can't just ask people why they're hats!

Hat: Ravenclaw?

Two for you.

Gryffindor?

Four for you Gryffindor, you go Gryffindor!

And Ravenclue?

Do we have a Ravenclue here?

Bird that's not a raven: It's RavenCLAW.

Hat: Oh, "claw," here you go.

One for you.

And none for Hufflepuff. Bye.

#happybirthdayharry

"It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."

I would like to take a moment to talk about Sadness.

Yes, the character from Inside Out. But also just the emotion in general. Sadness - the emotion - is something we are all very familiar with.


Terrible things have happened in our world, especially of late, and if Inside Out taught us anything it's that it's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel grief and to cry from time to time.


Grief can be a powerful tool in leading us to recognize the true joy in our lives; but C.S. Lewis taught us something very important about using grief in his discourse "A Grief Observed."

"I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process...For in grief nothing 'stays put.' One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?"

Grief can be used to take us in either direction - up or down. Think of it as the spiral itself, the gear moving us the direction we want to go.







When the world witnesses a bombing, a shooting, a war, etc. do we use our grief to tear others down for the harm their actions have caused, or do we allow it to raise us up - causing us to stand again on our own two feet, and reach down to help those others who have fallen as well?

I have heard a lot recently that our nation is getting worse - that we are spiraling down into a rut from which there is no salvation - a rut that "back in my day we never would have fallen into!"

"The same leg is cut off time after time." - C.S. Lewis

"It was safer back then!"

"We're better off before guns!"

"We would NEVER have treated others that way!"







Truth alert: You did, and you still do. We all do. The world is not getting worse. "The world" is doing nothing, actually, but keeping us all alive. It is the humans who inhabit it who are making mistakes, and we are all of us just as capable of making those mistakes as our brother.

There is a lot of negativity in the world - and we are often the cause of it, but there is also a lot of good - and we can be the cause of it as well.

Satan would have you focus on the bad. Focusing on the bad makes you forget that God is there - that he cares and is guiding us toward the light every day. Focusing on the terror makes us believe that terror is all there is, but just as Joy learned (when she had literally fallen to the "bottom of the pit" and was ready to give up) - bad things often lead to good.

Focusing on the bad doesn't make it go away, but forgetting about it doesn't either.




Focusing on the light until we can no longer see the bad - no longer see it because we are no longer creating it ourselves - that is our real defense against the horrors of our times.




Let's take a moment to realize how far we have come!

Other races - on the whole - are being treated with less hatred and contempt than they were before, and great strides are achieved every day in furthering education for ALL children all over the world.
Women are being offered work in areas they were never allowed in before - just look at our government!
I don't care if you're voting for her or not: We have a woman nominee up for the Presidency, and that is an amazing thing.

America has come far. The world has come far.

But we will only continue to change for the better if we choose to spiral up instead of down.
Please don't use politics to bring others down - to point out their "faults," to tear them to the ground.
Use it to inspire others to fight for what we all want - to stand up for the good, to continue to change the world.

Bad times will come, and often we will be the bringers of it - but good times are there as well, and we hold the power to acknowledge them in our very hands.

A Muggle-born Nation

Today is a holiday in the Mormon world, called "Pioneer Day."

If you hear that word and immediately think of women in long skirts and bonnets and men with amazing beards pulling handcarts and wagons, then congrats - you've probably met a Relief Society president at some point in your life.

This is the day we choose to honor our ancestors - those who crossed the American plains with nothing but their faith to carry them on: on to a land where they would be free to worship God without fear of persecution. It was the day in which they arrived in the soon to be established Salt Lake Valley.

But enough history lesson - many of you probably don't even believe in or have particularly strong feelings toward a God, the Mormons, or religious freedom at all. Many of you might not care about a history that happened to a people with whom you don't relate, and who lived so long ago. You are not a bad person for feeling so - it is simply not a concern on your mind, and who can blame you? There are so many other things to be worried about that are happening right now.

a Pioneer for our, and all, nations.

Since the word "pioneer" itself might also be a foreign concept to you or even a concept that you feel some disconnect from, I would like to take this opportunity to bring up a different image of the word - one I hope all of us will stake personal claim to in years to come.

In the early 1520s, the word "pioneer" was recorded as "a foot soldier who prepares the way for the army." They were the scouts who cleared the path for the battalion to come - scouts who pledge their faith and their loyalty to their brothers-in-arms. Sometimes they were viewed as "pawns" in the game (which is the root of the original French word) - like the pawn pieces in a chess match: easier to sacrifice than the others; but to the true chess master, they were recognizably just as important as every other piece on the field.

Now imagine it in the wizarding world - I know you're all secretly (or not so secretly) Harry Potter fans. Just imagine that you're a muggle-born, receiving your letter to join the magical world - a day you couldn't be "waiting" for, because it was a day you didn't know would arrive.

It's easy to place yourself in those shoes if you are an American. We are still relatively new to this world as a nation. We still have pioneering to do. We're like the muggle born wizards entering the world of magic for the first time: a new generation of wand-waving, inexperienced lunatics who have some ground to make up, but also have a lot to offer this already "established" world. We might not know as much about politics, economics, or establishing world order as the rest of our compatriots, but we have all been offered the same opportunity: to live here on this earth.

It's important to remember that our different heritage/upbringing/race, etc. does not make us of any greater or less worth than those who have likewise inherited this planet. Each human life is of equal importance. Muggleborns, half-bloods, and purebloods are all created equal: but equality does not equal frivolity. We cannot sit back and do nothing, allowing those of like-minded potential do all the work. If we want "change", we have to contribute to the act of "change."

Whether you believe in a God/the Mormon Pioneers/religious freedom or not, I invite you to look at today as an invitation to "Pioneer" in whatever you do believe in most. If you believe in education, be a foot soldier in establishing schools all over the world. If you believe in gender equality, be a foot soldier in removing the wage gap in the world of business and work. If you believe in magic, be a foot soldier in the battle against illiteracy and ignorance and teach children how to read...Harry Potter! Just kidding. Teach them to read other books too.
(but Harry Potter's a good place to start...)

If you are unhappy with the politics of today, prepare and start paving the way for a new generation of politics that you and your children can be proud of.

Being a Pioneer does not ensure that you will see the fruits of your labors - many have died in the pursuit of what they believe - but it does ensure that someone, someday will; and pioneers fight for the someone, the anyone, the everyone.

I believe in an eternal salvation for every man, woman, and child on this earth - EVERY one. That is why I served a mission, and that is why I strive to continually serve all mankind. If I am failing in this task, I apologize. Like those pioneers who came before me, I am not perfect and am prone to mistakes, but I am also driven by my faith, and I have faith in humanity. I believe that we can rise up to the challenge that has been presented in these latter days - the challenge to be better to our fellow men than we have in the past: to better ourselves and to help others become better as well.

While standing up for what you believe in, look at the ground on which you stand, for it was fought for and won by those who came before - the earlier foot soldiers, the pioneers of your heritage. Recognize that there is good in this world worth fighting for as you defend the ground that's already been won.

Join the Resistance, the Fellowship, the Order of the Phoenix, whatever you want: be a foot soldier for the nation - do whatever you can to make this world, our world, a better place to call home.

And, Happy Pioneer Day all!

Struggle of the daily "chew" - an article about how sometimes completely normal and even non-controversial things can drive others up the wall, and how we should be accepting, regardless.

I hate the sound of chewing food.

It doesn't matter who you are, what you are eating, or how much I generally like you - if you are eating next to me and there is not enough sound to drown it out, I'm probably going to get this look in my eye - the one that says "Please, get out of my sight. Now."

This is a daily struggle that I, and many others, deal with (I support and promote FCIA - the "Food Chewing is Annoying" group) - but for all intents and purposes, it is one that does not make a lot of sense.

"Logically" speaking - chewing food is a normal and everyday occurrence. It is something we all do - regardless of age, gender, race, or sexual preference - and it is something we cannot avoid.

So why does it bother me?

I don't know.

There are other things in life that I am uncomfortable with - things for which, unlike chewing, I have much more "logical" and even evidence based proof in defense for.

But being able to defend my beliefs does not make them any more important or "logical" than the beliefs of another. More importantly, it does not give me liberty or license to hate on any points of view that are contrary to my own.

Discrimination and abuse should never be tolerated under any circumstances - ever.

Hate is still hate, no matter what platform you hide it behind.

Now, that being said: I am a Mormon - a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - and as such, my personal beliefs, opinions, and ways of living life are often going to clash with yours.

Clashing of ideals is 100% normal, and 100% fine.

If we agreed on everything - Trump wouldn't be running for president.

But there is a big difference between having opposing points of view and promoting hate.

Here are some examples of things that I find wrong - or even just annoying - in life:

The sound of eating food

Smoking

High school dating

The consumption of alcohol

Sex before marriage

Not reading Harry Potter

The existence of scorpions in any way shape or form.

There are, of course, many other things on my list - like calling your spouse "baby," or getting a pet rat - but I'll stick with these ones as my examples for now.

Now, here are some examples of me turning those view points into a promotion of hate:

No one is allowed to eat - ever.

No one is allowed to smoke - ever.

No one is allowed to date in high school - ever.

No one is allowed to consume alcohol - ever.

No one is allowed to have sex before marriage - ever.

No one is allowed to not read Harry Potter - ever.

No one is allowed to be a scorpion - ever.

Perhaps some of those seem "logical" to you - like the reading Harry Potter one (because seriously people, BEST BOOKS EVER. READ THEM)
- but that does not mean we should go down the street telling everyone who does not think the books are worth their time that they are horrible people and we don't want anything to do with them!



I am friends with plenty of people who have never and will never read those books.

I am friends with plenty of people who smoke, drink, and live with their girlfriends or boyfriends.

I am certainly friends with people who eat.

(I don't think I am friends with anyone who likes scorpions, though...they seem to be a universally hated creature - just saying...)

So I guess all I'm trying to say with this blog post today is - I hope you can all still love me, even though I hate the way you chew.

Waiting Out the Storm

During every storm there is a single point of breaking - when ferocity pushes past containment and into the realms of unmanageable chaos. During every life, these "breaking points" happen far more often than once, but are seldom acknowledged for what they really are: like the storm - a natural, albeit undesirable, occurrence.

Winds crash against shore, waves flood the skies, and lightning cracks against trees: in these moments we are often rendered useless - buried in the ground, unable to pick ourselves back up - regardless of the otherwise fortunate circumstances that surround us.

Often, these "storms" come in disguise. They hide in the shadows of the sun: obscure their presence in the ashes of commonality. Sometimes, they can even drive us to feelings of shame or guilt. We see our happy lives and we begin to wonder if these words are true:

“It’s all in your head.”

“Snap out of it!"

"You'll get over it soon."

In such moments, we often lose the fight. We’ve given up saying "no" to that empty pounding inside. 

We've allowed the rain to soak our bones, until we are numb to the tempest that surrounds us; until we are oblivious to the reality before our eyes - the knowledge that these “breaking points” can carry even the strongest of trees with the deepest of roots plummeting down upon a desolate earth.

Sometimes there is no clarity to be found in our defeat: we do not know why we have fallen. Perhaps there were no warning winds, no forecasts of rains – and perhaps we find that we seem to be the only ones experiencing the tumultuous storm – but of this much I am certain: no matter the storm, there is no weakness in such a submission.

You are not insane because you feel the pressure of a storm that does not seem to be pressuring others. You are not broken for falling to a wind that has not pushed down everyone else. I promise you, the winds are real, “the tempest is raging,” and you are not alone.

Storms come, and storms go – but they are there all the same. They can incapacitate us for a while – nobody can protect you from the reality of that – but just as everyone is capable of falling, so too are we capable of getting back up.

I’m reminded of a poem by Tolkien:

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.”

- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

May those who are poor, lost, withered, and cold find strength in the knowledge that they are not alone; they stand, rather, amidst the finest the world has to offer – men and women who have, themselves, risen from the depths and the ashes of human life, to inherit their birthright as rulers of the infinite heavens above.

We are all refugees in this storm.

...and it's okay.

[Read the following in your best Meg Ryan voice, and you’ll hear the words as they are running through my head…]

Tonight, I looked myself in the mirror

Tonight I looked up in the bathroom mirror, and for the first time in forever I thought to myself, “You know? I look quite beautiful today.”

I look beautiful, with these marks on my face and this stain on my shirt…I’m not dressed in fine clothes or even a full outfit really; I’m wearing the top half of my Sunday dress and the black leggings I had on beneath my skirt. My hair is in the same bun I put it in after my shower this morning, which means the inside is probably still wet, and there are strands sticking out from beneath that white winter headband I use to keep those pesky bangs out of my face. My make-up is hardly done and I just finished watching two Meg Ryan flicks back to back (hence the voice) – so my hygiene probably isn’t the greatest (yeah, of course I cried at the end! Tom Hanks, you wonderful man, you…)

I even wore my Lord of the Rings necklace today – which totally did not go with my outfit, but it matched my earrings so I figured…what the heck.

And even as I notice all these things about myself, and as I walked back into my room and see the mess on my floor – the dirty clothes in the corner, my sheets aren’t even on the mattress (I’ve been sleeping on the top of my blanket for at least a week now) – and I realize that all in all my life is a complete mess…

...and even then I can somehow look in the mirror and say, "hey. ...you look beautiful."

...and I don’t think I’ve ever used that word to describe myself, ever.

Beautiful.

Even when I was happier with my image, even when I took better care of myself, even when I was 3 sizes smaller than I am right now…I never really thought I was beautiful.

And tonight I did.

Tonight...I did.

And it felt wonderful.

It felt wonderful to think that I was beautiful – and it didn’t require make-up, and it didn’t require a fancy dress. It didn’t even require complete dress…but I felt honestly, truly, completely beautiful.

So I just thought I’d share – because when you feel good about something, you want to share it, right?

I think that’s why we have movies. People make things that give them emotions and then they say “Hey! Look at these emotions over here! Don’t you want to try some?”

I mean, who doesn’t want to try a scene from the movies? Who doesn’t want to try Tom Hanks on top the Empire State building...to try perfect Reese Witherspoon hair, some Audrey Hepburn-esque class, a John Williams soundtrack playing in the background? …yes; please; sign me up.

And you know what – those moments aren’t even perfect; movies aren’t even perfect; life isn’t even perfect: and it’s okay. It's okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to be a mess. We’re all messes. Even during our “perfect moments” we’re a mess. Even during our beautiful moments, we’re a mess.

I'm a mess.

And it’s okay.

And those are just my two cents for the night.

Goodnight. 

Come on, Muggles...

So, I’d like to set the record straight on a few things Potter-related…

[*non Harry Potter fans, keep reading – you might actually enjoy this…*]

As anyone with access to any of my social media pages surely knows by now, I am very much a Harry Potter fan – and I don’t even try to hide it. 

Due to my outspoken Potterness, I am the regular beneficiary (or victim, depending on how you look at it) of Potter posts, Potter tags, and Potter related questions from family, peers, and friends. Now, don’t get me wrong – I love them, just as I love being a part of the Potter fandom (it’s really great. I love this fan base).

<--This one gets me every time.

But there are a few reoccuring topics I’d like to put to rest, and they are as follows:

1.   “You’re such a big fan…like the biggest fan. You must know everything!”

No. Not even close. I guarantee there are fans bigger than me.  

And I have been beaten in Potter trivia before (though I will admit, it’s rather hard to do). I love it when someone knows something that I didn't know before - and I'm always down for a good “hypothetical” debate about all things Potter, so if you've got a question - don't assume I'll know, but feel free to ask.

2.   “But seriously – it’s like the only thing on your Facebook feed. You must never read or watch anything else.”

I’m a Lit Studies major, so…definitely not true. I read books like candy consumption on Halloween night. That doesn’t mean I don’t make the time to reread all my favorites, but it rarely happens. Especially since the Harry Potter series is so long (just check out this infographic - 2nd to the last) – but I still usually make time to reread the series once a year. The problem is…once you start book one, you have to keep going till you’re done. 

[Side note: anyone else wanting to read the books (or reread the books), but having a hard time fitting them into their busy schedule should check out Jim Dale's audiobook versions. SO GOOD.]

On a related note – the movies aren’t even my favorite. Granted, I’m always down for a Potter marathon, and I’ll love every second of it – but really I do it more for the memories and jokes we can make/swap along the way.

The books are ten thousand times better.

3.   “You must spend hours on Pottermore!”

Actually, I haven’t been on Pottermore since I signed up to be one of the beta testers back when it first premiered. Quite honestly, if you've learned something from being on that site at all within the past few years, you probably know more than me.

It's not that I don’t like the site – I love it! And I love the information (Here are some random facts for anyone interested).

But for me Pottermore is just another one of those things I'll have to save for when I can actually afford to waste time...because goodness knows once I log back on it'll be days before I see daylight again...

4.   "I bet you’ll never marry someone who isn’t a Harry Potter fan.”

Au contraire Mein Herr! ...While the chances of this not happening are particularly rare (there aren’t many who outright hate the series), there's still a chance I end up dating/marrying someone who doesn't like the books, hasn't read them, or maybe even refuses to give them a try (what a sad sad creature he would be). I mean, I'm friends with plenty of people who have this sad outlook on life, so why would I suddenly change my criteria of friendship just because he's a boy, who for some reason likes me? (again...the chances of him liking me AND my obsession, and not being a fan himself...probably pretty low...)

But so long as he allows me to live out my fandom in peace (and doesn't get too mad when I periodically tease him about his sad muggle ignorance), I don't see the need for concern.

In fact, it will probably save us a lot of money if he’s not as big of a fan as me – I do have a rather unhealthy habit of buying Potter related t-shirts...

[Side note: I’m totally not ashamed of the whole “naming children after book characters thing”, and if I can pull off having a Ginny, or Charlie, or George – I’m totally going to do it. In fact, I have a long list of book names from other favorite series that I’m totally going to try and force on my children/pets/automobiles...]

5.   "After all this time?" "...Always."

Nope. Sorry. Not romantic.

Don’t ever try and quote this scene to me as if you think you’re being sweet. In fact - that will probably be more of a deal breaker to me than you not having read the books. I like Snape and all, but I think his obsession with Lily is rather creepy, and not romantic at all. So unless you’re Alan Rickman, I don’t ever want to hear those words spoken to me. Ever.

I'd rather watch Dobby die a second death.









6.   "So...Potter themed wedding?"

While we’re on this romance note: Yes, I do have a Pinterest board with Harry Potter themed wedding material on it. No, I am not actually planning on forcing that kind of wedding on anyone. Yes, I would love to have some kind of Harry Potter tie-in (of course I would!) – preferably with multiple books as the theme, and not just the one (here's my board). No, I don’t need any of those things to be happy. Just the right guy in the right place at the right time will do.

Okay, I'm sure there are other things, but I have homework I'm avoiding that's due at Midnight - so here are a few more images for your consideration...and then I'd better go.

Mischief Managed.

What I Believe...

[Disclaimer: the following post reflects my views and my views alone. I do not pretend to hold any authority to speak for God, the LDS church, or anyone else’s personal views on the matter in question here. I can only speak, and will only speak for myself, as I attempt to share with you what I believe in, and why it is important to me.]

What I Believe

May I begin by misquoting a philosophical individual? As I was reading John Calvin the other day, I mistakenly read his words as follows: “Every one of us, even from his mother’s womb, is a master craftsman of idiots.” I like this rephrasing of the quote - and find it to be much more philosophically true than the original.

We, as human beings, are fallible idiots, who are in the practice of producing more fallible idiots every day. It’s just what we do.

As one of these idiots, I do not even begin to pretend to possess absolute knowledge on anything, at all, in the universe…and I’m not just talking this issue here (the one on church policy – which I will discuss later). In fact, when it comes to most issues in the world, I remain painfully and woefully ignorant (no matter how hard I try for the contrapositive).

I don’t know how to end world hunger; I have no idea what Putin is really doing in Russia; I’m horrible in many academic subjects [I’ve never been successful in Chemistry, and the last time I solved a real math equation I was 16]; I will probably never be able to do a cartwheel (…quite frankly, at this point I’m just too scared to try). I mean, I just barely learned that the Taliban, ISIS, and al Qaeda are all different groups with often independent or even conflicting aims, so my understanding of current world events is clearly limited as well.

But there are a few principles I have learned – or perhaps relearned these past few weeks, and if you will be patient with me, I would like to share one with you before I move on to my response to this news on the change in church policy.

What I’ve (re)learned:

Never assume anything…about anyone…ever ever ever ever ever ever (x1000 evers).

Never jump to conclusions. Never think that you know someone or something or where they stand just because you heard it from some outside source. Don’t assume all girls are prissy; don’t assume all boys are jocks; don’t assume all middle easterners are terrorists; don’t assume all children are ignorant; don’t assume all religious people are blind followers of their faiths; don’t assume all straight people are good; don’t assume all homosexuals are bad. Just don’t assume anything about anyone ever – especially based on some outward appearance they might have. Assumption does not dictate whether something is true or not. Even if your assumption proves to be fact, that does not mean it is truth. Truth exists separate from the fact that someone is a jerk, or that they support a band you don’t like, or that their mom is gay, or that their dad is in prison, etc. etc.

The truth (and by this I mean absolute truth), and whether or nothing something about someone is true are two completely different concepts. The truth is something that exists outside the realms of opinion. It exists outside the bounds of belief.

Example: There is a truth (an absolute truth) that we all must die someday. No matter who you are, someday, in some way, you will die. This is a truth that exists outside the bounds of any human thought, hope, or belief. Nothing anyone says or does is going to prevent that from happening to you and to all those around you. This is different than, perhaps, the confirmation of the fact that that girl in your 3^rd period really is a jerk – just like you thought, or that the mean co-worker from the office really is cheating on what’s her face with your man, or that your best friend just dyed her hair red without telling you first (oh the nerve! *fist shake*). All of these things may be true, they may even be facts – facts based on observable and gathered data of an individual (or multiple individuals), but these facts are not the things that define this universe. They are not the all-encompassing truths that exist outside the realms of human fallibility, or human fragility.

In my opinion (and I say opinion, because I can do nothing to prove this to you), God’s love for us is another of these everlasting, absolute, and universal truths. I believe His love exists outside the bounds of time. No matter what anyone might say to me otherwise, I do not and cannot believe that God loves any one of us more than he does the rest. He does not love members of the LDS Church any more than he loves members of the Catholic Church, or members of the Scientology Church, or members of any or no church at all. God is not going to treat children who are baptized with any less love than he would a child who is not – regardless of their sexual orientation, denomination, or faith.

I love my friends who are gay, and I truly mean LOVE them. Regardless of their current sexual orientation, they are genially awesome human beings toward me, so why should I not be toward them? I care for them just as much as I do my friends who are straight, my friends who smoke, my friends who drink, my friends who don’t, my friends who are members of my church, my friends who are not…all of them are important to me, and I sincerely hope they will not think less or love me any less simply because I do not practice or believe in the same things that they practice or believe.

Honestly, no matter who you are or what you preach, I will probably consider you a friend until I find you standing over me in my bed with a knife, ready to end my life (yeah, that would probably give me pause)… but until we find ourselves in that position I’m not going to question our friendship unless you ask me to step aside and move on. And even then I’ll probably hang desperately on and demand that you still love me, because I’m sentimental like that.

Once you’ve met me, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me liking you a whole awful lot.

But…moving on…

My opinion and stance on what appears to be a new policy statement from the church:

I recently heard someone say, “If you don’t fight for what you believe in, then you don’t really believe it’s worth the fight.” I suppose that’s true.

I’ve never really shared my views on this before (on where I stand on the issue of gay rights, and homosexual marriage), and I would ask that before you pass judgment on me or my beliefs, you at least give this post the benefit of the doubt and read it all the way through (that is, if you truly want to know what I believe in and where I stand. If you don’t care, then feel free to pass judgment now without me thinking any the less of you. You are entitled to your opinions, just as I am entitled to mine, and I think you’re awesome and rad, regardless). If my words, however, offend anyone, or cause you to harbor even the slightest bit of hatred toward me for my beliefs, I ask you to forgive me (if you can) – for it was certainly not my intent today to cause anyone harm with this post.

The Family is NUMBER ONE.

Families have always been number one in God’s book, and number one has always been the top priority for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As LDS members we believe that we were sent here to earth with the purpose and design to be a part of an eternal family – a unit that consists of two parents, an earthly mother and father, who are here to help guide us back to our Heavenly home (where our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother reside).

Of course, just because we believe this is the purpose of mortality does not mean that we believe anyone without this “perfect” family unit is going to hell. Not even close. If we did, then we’d all be damned – because I can’t think of a single person on this planet who has a “perfect family”, or who lives in anything that even remotely resembles “a perfectly ideal family situation”.

I am confident enough in my understanding of the church and it’s beliefs to state that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not condemn anyone with only one mom, or two moms, or zero moms to a life in hell. They do not condemn those who are orphaned, nor those who have never known their parents, nor those who have been adopted into a new home, nor those who have been abused, etc. etc…

Again, family is number one to the church! In fact, this new policy protects the family unit so much more so than it could ever possibly harm it.

In this new policy, it appears that a child of a same-sex couple will have to wait until they are no longer living under their parent’s roof before they can receive membership in the church.

When I first read this I was pretty upset, because I immediately forgot my own relearned lesson (mentioned above) about “not jumping to conclusions” – and I jumped to conclusions. I immediately thought the worst of whomever had leaked this rumor (for I was sure it had to be a rumor, because the idea went against everything I knew about church policy on acceptance and love); but as I calmed down enough to allow myself the time to actually read through some of the reports, and to actually think about what it was saying, I found that not only did the policy make sense, but everything in the church – everything I had ever been taught to believe before – defended it.

Let’s imagine two scenarios here – to help me illustrate this point.

Scenario number one: little Jimmy, 8-year-old son of a happily married couple – Johnny and Steve. Maybe Jimmy started going to an LDS church with his friend Sam, and was invited to be a part of the children’s primary program. Over time, Jimmy found that he loved the church and that he believed in the teachings and wanted to start going every Sunday. But Jimmy’s dads learned that he wanted to get baptized, and they were against it, and told him no – because they did not share those same beliefs.

Now let’s put up scenario number two: Suzie, 8-year-old daughter of a happily married couple – Lucy and Anne, has been going to church with her friend Sarah for almost two years. She is finally 8, which is the age when most girls in the church get baptized, so she asks her moms if she can. They decide that if the church makes their daughter happy, then yes – of course she can get baptized, even though they do not share the same beliefs themselves.

Think about both of these scenarios – if, in either of them, bishops were allowed to grant membership to either of these two children, they would be effectively destroying a home – no matter how good their intentions were, nor how honest the religious belief of the child. By denying a bishop the ability to grant membership to a child when his parents are against it – they are protecting both that child and their parents from an upsetting moral custody battle. They are protecting little Jimmy’s home from the countless fights that would likely ensue between Jimmy and his dads, were he to go against their wishes.

Likewise, in the case of Suzie and her parents, the bishop is protecting her from making a decision that would in any way alienate her from her mothers and from her home. It prohibits her or anyone else from making a premature choice between family and religion. I’m not suggesting that such a choice would make Suzie love her moms any less – but becoming a member of the church would be akin to stating that you stand by and believe in the church policy that speaks against the institution of gay marriage.

This policy protects the family – in the same way it would of a child of straight parents who did not share the same religious beliefs as the child. Any child under the age of 18 will equally be denied membership from the church (without written consent), and how many of us have known someone who has been kicked from their home or lost their beloved relationship with their parents because of their decision to join the LDS church? It happens all the time, to so many people, under so many different circumstances, and it is always heartbreaking to see a home destroyed.

When I was a missionary I was very often placed in the position where I would have to tell an eager soul that they could not be baptized into our church at this time, for various reasons. In most cases, Muslims who want to convert can’t ever be baptized – because joining the church can often mean harassment and even the possibility of death to family members in certain countries around the world. Once I had to tell a heartbroken little girl that she couldn't get baptized because her mother wouldn't allow it, even though her grandmother was still willing to take her every week.

The church’s number one goal is always, and will always be to protect the family – under any circumstances.

Please don’t confuse this, however, with the mistaken belief that the church believes gays are horrible people who are going to hell. Because we don’t – no more than we believe couples who live together before marriage, or couples who have sex before marriage, or couples who choose never to marry are going to hell. We don’t believe that either! Just because we don’t condone the actions doesn’t mean we hate all people who do it! I don’t condone smoking, or the consumption of alcohol, or cursing, or sex before marriage, or even unhealthy eating! But if I hated all my friends who did these things, I’d have no friends. I couldn’t even be friends with myself, because goodness knows I’m not a perfect person, and I do things that I know and believe are wrong all the time.

Yeah, I’m imperfect.

Deal with it.

Official church policy has always been and always will be to accept everyone. This new policy does not change that AT ALL. It does not reflect how our Heavenly Father feels about any one of us, nor does it suggest that we (the LDS church) think that God cares more for his baptized members than he does his non-members.

[Quick side note: Our Second Article of Faith reads: “We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgressions.”]

^ I’d like to expound on this by saying that we believe no one is going to be condemned because of the actions of any other individual – other than themselves. Let me be clear on this fact – the church does not believe that a child is damned just because they have gay parents.

It is also important to clarify here that membership (or baptism) into the church does not reflect that individuals standing with God in any way shape or form.

Membership in a church is just that – membership in a church. It does not equal salvation. 

Membership in any church does not equal salvation. If we believed this, then we would be guilty of the same crime as those religious idiots of old – those who believed that salvation could be bought at a price. We do not believe that simply being a member of the church is going to ensure your way to Heaven, nor do we believe paying tithing, or dressing modestly, or refraining from alcoholic drink is going to save you. Sure – being sober is probably good, and will most likely help you on the way, but it’s not going to save your soul.

Besides, I know countless individuals who are baptized members of the church who are a whole lot less likely to make it to the celestial kingdom than my friends with gay parents.

So maybe the Church’s stance on this issue is different than yours, and maybe my stance on morality is different than yours, but you know what? That’s okay.

Reasonable people can, and do, differ.

But baptism is a blessing God wants for all his children, straight, gay, and everything in between – so whether that happens when one is 8, 80, 108, or dead does not matter to God. No one who truly wants it will be denied those blessings – nor will anyone who does not want it be forced into having it. God knows each of us, he knows all of our extenuating circumstances – whatever the situation – and he won’t ignore a single child because of someone, something, or anything that lies beyond their control.

So yeah…that’s my two cents on the matter.

If you hate me, please give me a call before disowning me forever.

If you still like me - good.

I like you too.