To my friends who are currently in emotional joy or pain:

May I offer a suggestion?

I promise it’s not mean.

I’ll even do it in Harry Potter metaphor for you - because honestly, how could I not?

Dear Muggles…many of you are hurting: many of you feel fear.
Those are very strong and powerful emotions.

Many of you right now are rejoicing: you feel you have won a great fight.

That is also a powerful emotion.

But emotions are good: Emotions are healthy.

Pixar has taught us that Disgust, Anger, Joy, Fear, and even Sadness have an important role and place in our lives.

Emotions left unchecked, however, can lead to horrible or even harmful actions.

Now…here comes the Potter analogy – as promised:

Harry’s 4^th year at Hogwarts was crazy, right? (Note: spoilers ahead for those few who haven’t read the books/seen the movies.)

After a highly stressful (and emotionally charged) competition, Harry was not only forced to watch the man who left him an orphan come back to corporal form, but also forced to duel with him - on an injured leg and after watching a fellow classmate die.
If he was feeling anything that night after landing back on the Quidditch field, it was emotion.

Lots and lots of strong and charged emotion.

But did those who cared about him simply leave him to cry about it? Did they just “give him his time” to mope?
No, not exactly.

The first thing that occurred (after he was rescued from yet another life-threatening scare) was his talk with Dumbledore. The headmaster, wise in his years, understood that “numbing the pain,” even just for a while, will only “make it worse when you finally feel it” (Goblet of Fire). Albus Dumbledore – someone who Harry both cared for and trusted – allowed him, even forced him to talk about it: privately and in the presence of his emotional buffer and confidant (Sirius Black).

And he did not interrupt – except when he needed further explanation for a better understanding of emotions/events.

It was only after Harry had spoken that he was allowed to sleep: and sleep he did! Though he had been injured that night physically as well, his stay in the hospital wing was purely for his emotional well-being. Those wounds that had been caused physically were cured instantly by magic, but he still needed to take the important time to recover inside as well.

Then, once he was a little more himself, he was able to make a more logically based plan with others who also felt threatened by the change that was about to happen (even those who might not be directly threatened – like pureblood Neville Longbottom – fought by the sides of those who were targeted by Voldemort’s hate-crime campaign).

Now, this suggestion of “healing” events is meant to be for those who are feeling any type of emotion right now – be it joy or fear, hatred or disgust, or especially sadness.

Sitting around and sulking in too much of any emotion (especially one heightened in moments of adrenaline or depression) can lead us down a spiral of regret. If we are not careful during this time, we can not only destroy a lot of really valuable relationships that many of us have had a long time, but we are also in danger of causing contention to rip through our nation – even enough contention to result in another war.

If you are in need of someone to talk to about how you feel – please seek out someone you care for, trust, and love – someone you know will listen.

Talk to them: spill your guts. Get it all out. But then allow yourself the time you need to recover before you make any rash decisions.
I understand that life doesn’t stop happening. I get that you can’t just take days off work to get back on your feet again – but being emotionally healthy is just as, if not more important than being physically healthy, and there is no shame in taking any free days you get (or in making the time yourself) to seek help. Do whatever necessary to talk to those who can help heal you – help to move you along life’s path enough to take the next step yourself (be it enjoying the race you feel you’ve won or fighting for those causes you feel to be threatened).

Please don’t use the internet as your outlet.

Social media has a way of amplifying the underlying emotions and spreading them like wildfire among the trees. Notice that Harry didn’t report everything that happened to the entire school – he just told Sirius and Dumbledore, followed by a select few family members and friends.

Emotional situations are much better handled when discussed one on one.

Now, if you don’t have anyone you feel you can turn to – please feel free to private message me. I will listen to anything you have to say, and I will always do my best to respect your feelings and your privacy.

There are also many professionals you can turn to – people who are literally paid to just sit and listen and help you sort out your mind. I am (obviously) a firm believer in this type of treatment, and there is absolutely no shame in ever admitting that you need it – especially to those of you who feel threatened right now.

Finally, I would just like to say to those who are feeling immense happiness and joy right now – please remember that some of your friends are not. Even if you don’t understand it, just be aware of it.

I’m not saying you have to go around and hug every single one of them. I’m not saying you have to be “careful” and watch everything you say. But be aware. If you cause offense, even unintentionally, be aware enough of their emotions to apologize. This was obviously more than just your usual election: this has been a very heated and extremely emotional year for all of us, and no matter what outcome would or could have happened Tuesday night, we were going to have scared and broken hearts on either side.

There has never been, nor will there ever be a president up for election who has not threatened the security and happiness of at least one citizen in their country: that’s just the truth of it. But the correct way to respond to that has never been to lash out at the citizens who voted for him (or her – had Hillary won), but rather to use those freedoms the constitution of this country protects – the freedoms that allow us to peacefully and yes, even publicly fight for our rights (or the rights of others).

If you decide to step across the lines of respect and turn to hate, violence, or any other crime that infringes on the constitutional or basic human rights of another, then you must expect to be punished by the law: politicians included.

Yes, I know this doesn’t always happen. Guilty people get away with crimes (especially hate crimes) every day. That is why we have the right to step out and speak against it, and the right to accuse those of crimes for which they stand guilty. We do NOT, however, have the authority to punish them ourselves. We can help alert the authorities to crimes, and we can even alert them to miscarriages of justice, but punishing others ourselves only ends with self-incrimination.

I’ll just end with this:

Right now, Obama is still our president.
Right now, we must continue to pray for and support him in his duty to protect and serve the American nation.

Come January, that duty will fall on Donald Trump.
I wish him all the help in the world. He will be the one standing at the helm of this ship – along with the members of congress and the supreme court who currently serve as well.

Wishing him ill is wishing ourselves ill.

If Donald Trump does, however, deliver on some of his promises (which up to this point are just a bunch of hateful words) then he should and hopefully will be punished by the law, same as anyone else, and I invite you all to exercise your constitutional rights to fight against such things happening.

This is why things like Impeachment exist.

This is why the system is set up the way it is: because humans are all imperfect, and thus we elect imperfect people to the presidency…and sometimes they cross a line.

And with that, I wish you all a good (and safe) night.

An open letter to the President of the United States of America

To President Barack Obama,

                I did not vote for you. During your initial campaign, I was still in high school and thus too young to vote; when you ran for re-election, I found that the change I wanted to see in this country wasn’t exactly the change you were promising to take with you to the presidential seat – so once again, I did not add my voice to those in your support.

                But never once, in the past 8 years, have I questioned your devotion to this nation. You have done your best to honor and serve the position you have held, and I have faith in your ability to continue to do so throughout the remainder of your days in office.

                We may agree on many issues, we may disagree on more – but my voice isn’t the only voice in this place I call home, and you have done your best to listen to the ones that are struggling far more than I. You have heard the cries of those in oppression and taken strides many would not take to bring them out of obscurity. I have a deep admiration for your ability to calm the crowd, to stand tall in affliction, and above all – to love, without prejudice.

                You stand where many, and yet few men have stood before – at the end of your road as our nation’s president. While few understand the burdens you’ve held, and even fewer the steps you’re about to take, I want you to know that you are not alone. We may be different – so very different – in our personal and our political beliefs; nevertheless – I am honored to have known a nation under you.

                You are not leaving behind a legacy of war. 

                Thank you. 

                You have not dislodged the important freedoms I hold most dear. 

                Thank you. 

                You have not cast people out, nor closed the doors to this nation of second chances. 

                Thank you. 

                You have striven to stand behind the Constitution of the United States – upholding its principles and laws to the best of your understanding and ability. 

                Thank you. 

                Finally, and perhaps most importantly of all, you have stood by your family through thick and thin. You have understood that – be it blood, bond, or borders that bring us together – family, above all, comes first.

                There has been a sad legacy of infidelity with some leaders in our past – one that the stress of your job might, to some, excuse – but you have stood by your children and your wife, putting them first in all. Never once have I, nor the public, seen you neglect that role of father and husband: one that stands of much greater and eternal purpose than the role you will retire at the start of next year.

   You have always put us second, and your blood first, and for that, I am extremely grateful. You have shown a remarkable ability of devotion under the scrutiny of a public media eye looking for disgrace; for that I applaud you.

   Thank you for your limits – for being human, and accepting your faults.

   Thank you for showing your willingness to stand – accepting your role as a leader during difficult times.

   Thank you for sticking to those goals you cared about most – even, and especially when they were goals that were not met with universal approval.

   Disagreement is what makes this nation strong. The choice to even have a voice – in approval or dissent – is a freedom not all nations share; and that my voice can be heard without fear of imprisonment is something for which I will always be grateful.

   Perhaps I will never find my “perfect and ideal” president until I am the one walking through those oval office doors; Even then, I’m afraid I would greatly disappoint my expectations.

   For this, I am also grateful.

   I am grateful to live in a world where imperfect people are willing and able to serve those just as imperfect as they. I am grateful for change – for the chance to learn and grow from others, of a different race, culture, and belief. I am grateful to be a citizen of these United States.

Thank you, President Obama, for your years of service.

Thank you, President Obama, for the months that will come.

I am proud to have you in my country’s history.

Sincerely,

  A citizen of the United States of America

P.S.

             Don’t worry about Tuesday. It will come and go.

             No matter what happens, you have at least one voice here ready to support whoever fills your seat, regardless of whether or not they got my vote. 

Happy birthday, Harry

Blaise: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular.

Hat: Watch out Slytherin! Fresh meat coming through!

Neville: What do we even talk about?

Hat: Ashton Kutcher.

Neville: Is that a band?

Hat: HUFFLEPUFF! (...jk - Gryffindor).

Hat: Nice wig, blondie. What's it made of?

Draco: Your mom's chest hair!

Hat: SLYTHERIN!

Patil girl not in Gryffindor: Yeah, I like math.

Hat: Why?

PP: Because it's the same in every country.

Hat: That's beautiful. This girl is deep. RAVENCLAW!

Umbridge: *sit in chair*

Hat: You go sit with the Slytherlastics. On Wednesdays they wear green.

Harry: So if you can talk...why are you a hat?

Dumbledore: Omg, Harry, you can't just ask people why they're hats!

Hat: Ravenclaw?

Two for you.

Gryffindor?

Four for you Gryffindor, you go Gryffindor!

And Ravenclue?

Do we have a Ravenclue here?

Bird that's not a raven: It's RavenCLAW.

Hat: Oh, "claw," here you go.

One for you.

And none for Hufflepuff. Bye.

#happybirthdayharry

"It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."

I would like to take a moment to talk about Sadness.

Yes, the character from Inside Out. But also just the emotion in general. Sadness - the emotion - is something we are all very familiar with.


Terrible things have happened in our world, especially of late, and if Inside Out taught us anything it's that it's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel grief and to cry from time to time.


Grief can be a powerful tool in leading us to recognize the true joy in our lives; but C.S. Lewis taught us something very important about using grief in his discourse "A Grief Observed."

"I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process...For in grief nothing 'stays put.' One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?"

Grief can be used to take us in either direction - up or down. Think of it as the spiral itself, the gear moving us the direction we want to go.







When the world witnesses a bombing, a shooting, a war, etc. do we use our grief to tear others down for the harm their actions have caused, or do we allow it to raise us up - causing us to stand again on our own two feet, and reach down to help those others who have fallen as well?

I have heard a lot recently that our nation is getting worse - that we are spiraling down into a rut from which there is no salvation - a rut that "back in my day we never would have fallen into!"

"The same leg is cut off time after time." - C.S. Lewis

"It was safer back then!"

"We're better off before guns!"

"We would NEVER have treated others that way!"







Truth alert: You did, and you still do. We all do. The world is not getting worse. "The world" is doing nothing, actually, but keeping us all alive. It is the humans who inhabit it who are making mistakes, and we are all of us just as capable of making those mistakes as our brother.

There is a lot of negativity in the world - and we are often the cause of it, but there is also a lot of good - and we can be the cause of it as well.

Satan would have you focus on the bad. Focusing on the bad makes you forget that God is there - that he cares and is guiding us toward the light every day. Focusing on the terror makes us believe that terror is all there is, but just as Joy learned (when she had literally fallen to the "bottom of the pit" and was ready to give up) - bad things often lead to good.

Focusing on the bad doesn't make it go away, but forgetting about it doesn't either.




Focusing on the light until we can no longer see the bad - no longer see it because we are no longer creating it ourselves - that is our real defense against the horrors of our times.




Let's take a moment to realize how far we have come!

Other races - on the whole - are being treated with less hatred and contempt than they were before, and great strides are achieved every day in furthering education for ALL children all over the world.
Women are being offered work in areas they were never allowed in before - just look at our government!
I don't care if you're voting for her or not: We have a woman nominee up for the Presidency, and that is an amazing thing.

America has come far. The world has come far.

But we will only continue to change for the better if we choose to spiral up instead of down.
Please don't use politics to bring others down - to point out their "faults," to tear them to the ground.
Use it to inspire others to fight for what we all want - to stand up for the good, to continue to change the world.

Bad times will come, and often we will be the bringers of it - but good times are there as well, and we hold the power to acknowledge them in our very hands.

A Muggle-born Nation

Today is a holiday in the Mormon world, called "Pioneer Day."

If you hear that word and immediately think of women in long skirts and bonnets and men with amazing beards pulling handcarts and wagons, then congrats - you've probably met a Relief Society president at some point in your life.

This is the day we choose to honor our ancestors - those who crossed the American plains with nothing but their faith to carry them on: on to a land where they would be free to worship God without fear of persecution. It was the day in which they arrived in the soon to be established Salt Lake Valley.

But enough history lesson - many of you probably don't even believe in or have particularly strong feelings toward a God, the Mormons, or religious freedom at all. Many of you might not care about a history that happened to a people with whom you don't relate, and who lived so long ago. You are not a bad person for feeling so - it is simply not a concern on your mind, and who can blame you? There are so many other things to be worried about that are happening right now.

a Pioneer for our, and all, nations.

Since the word "pioneer" itself might also be a foreign concept to you or even a concept that you feel some disconnect from, I would like to take this opportunity to bring up a different image of the word - one I hope all of us will stake personal claim to in years to come.

In the early 1520s, the word "pioneer" was recorded as "a foot soldier who prepares the way for the army." They were the scouts who cleared the path for the battalion to come - scouts who pledge their faith and their loyalty to their brothers-in-arms. Sometimes they were viewed as "pawns" in the game (which is the root of the original French word) - like the pawn pieces in a chess match: easier to sacrifice than the others; but to the true chess master, they were recognizably just as important as every other piece on the field.

Now imagine it in the wizarding world - I know you're all secretly (or not so secretly) Harry Potter fans. Just imagine that you're a muggle-born, receiving your letter to join the magical world - a day you couldn't be "waiting" for, because it was a day you didn't know would arrive.

It's easy to place yourself in those shoes if you are an American. We are still relatively new to this world as a nation. We still have pioneering to do. We're like the muggle born wizards entering the world of magic for the first time: a new generation of wand-waving, inexperienced lunatics who have some ground to make up, but also have a lot to offer this already "established" world. We might not know as much about politics, economics, or establishing world order as the rest of our compatriots, but we have all been offered the same opportunity: to live here on this earth.

It's important to remember that our different heritage/upbringing/race, etc. does not make us of any greater or less worth than those who have likewise inherited this planet. Each human life is of equal importance. Muggleborns, half-bloods, and purebloods are all created equal: but equality does not equal frivolity. We cannot sit back and do nothing, allowing those of like-minded potential do all the work. If we want "change", we have to contribute to the act of "change."

Whether you believe in a God/the Mormon Pioneers/religious freedom or not, I invite you to look at today as an invitation to "Pioneer" in whatever you do believe in most. If you believe in education, be a foot soldier in establishing schools all over the world. If you believe in gender equality, be a foot soldier in removing the wage gap in the world of business and work. If you believe in magic, be a foot soldier in the battle against illiteracy and ignorance and teach children how to read...Harry Potter! Just kidding. Teach them to read other books too.
(but Harry Potter's a good place to start...)

If you are unhappy with the politics of today, prepare and start paving the way for a new generation of politics that you and your children can be proud of.

Being a Pioneer does not ensure that you will see the fruits of your labors - many have died in the pursuit of what they believe - but it does ensure that someone, someday will; and pioneers fight for the someone, the anyone, the everyone.

I believe in an eternal salvation for every man, woman, and child on this earth - EVERY one. That is why I served a mission, and that is why I strive to continually serve all mankind. If I am failing in this task, I apologize. Like those pioneers who came before me, I am not perfect and am prone to mistakes, but I am also driven by my faith, and I have faith in humanity. I believe that we can rise up to the challenge that has been presented in these latter days - the challenge to be better to our fellow men than we have in the past: to better ourselves and to help others become better as well.

While standing up for what you believe in, look at the ground on which you stand, for it was fought for and won by those who came before - the earlier foot soldiers, the pioneers of your heritage. Recognize that there is good in this world worth fighting for as you defend the ground that's already been won.

Join the Resistance, the Fellowship, the Order of the Phoenix, whatever you want: be a foot soldier for the nation - do whatever you can to make this world, our world, a better place to call home.

And, Happy Pioneer Day all!

Struggle of the daily "chew" - an article about how sometimes completely normal and even non-controversial things can drive others up the wall, and how we should be accepting, regardless.

I hate the sound of chewing food.

It doesn't matter who you are, what you are eating, or how much I generally like you - if you are eating next to me and there is not enough sound to drown it out, I'm probably going to get this look in my eye - the one that says "Please, get out of my sight. Now."

This is a daily struggle that I, and many others, deal with (I support and promote FCIA - the "Food Chewing is Annoying" group) - but for all intents and purposes, it is one that does not make a lot of sense.

"Logically" speaking - chewing food is a normal and everyday occurrence. It is something we all do - regardless of age, gender, race, or sexual preference - and it is something we cannot avoid.

So why does it bother me?

I don't know.

There are other things in life that I am uncomfortable with - things for which, unlike chewing, I have much more "logical" and even evidence based proof in defense for.

But being able to defend my beliefs does not make them any more important or "logical" than the beliefs of another. More importantly, it does not give me liberty or license to hate on any points of view that are contrary to my own.

Discrimination and abuse should never be tolerated under any circumstances - ever.

Hate is still hate, no matter what platform you hide it behind.

Now, that being said: I am a Mormon - a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - and as such, my personal beliefs, opinions, and ways of living life are often going to clash with yours.

Clashing of ideals is 100% normal, and 100% fine.

If we agreed on everything - Trump wouldn't be running for president.

But there is a big difference between having opposing points of view and promoting hate.

Here are some examples of things that I find wrong - or even just annoying - in life:

The sound of eating food

Smoking

High school dating

The consumption of alcohol

Sex before marriage

Not reading Harry Potter

The existence of scorpions in any way shape or form.

There are, of course, many other things on my list - like calling your spouse "baby," or getting a pet rat - but I'll stick with these ones as my examples for now.

Now, here are some examples of me turning those view points into a promotion of hate:

No one is allowed to eat - ever.

No one is allowed to smoke - ever.

No one is allowed to date in high school - ever.

No one is allowed to consume alcohol - ever.

No one is allowed to have sex before marriage - ever.

No one is allowed to not read Harry Potter - ever.

No one is allowed to be a scorpion - ever.

Perhaps some of those seem "logical" to you - like the reading Harry Potter one (because seriously people, BEST BOOKS EVER. READ THEM)
- but that does not mean we should go down the street telling everyone who does not think the books are worth their time that they are horrible people and we don't want anything to do with them!



I am friends with plenty of people who have never and will never read those books.

I am friends with plenty of people who smoke, drink, and live with their girlfriends or boyfriends.

I am certainly friends with people who eat.

(I don't think I am friends with anyone who likes scorpions, though...they seem to be a universally hated creature - just saying...)

So I guess all I'm trying to say with this blog post today is - I hope you can all still love me, even though I hate the way you chew.

Waiting Out the Storm

During every storm there is a single point of breaking - when ferocity pushes past containment and into the realms of unmanageable chaos. During every life, these "breaking points" happen far more often than once, but are seldom acknowledged for what they really are: like the storm - a natural, albeit undesirable, occurrence.

Winds crash against shore, waves flood the skies, and lightning cracks against trees: in these moments we are often rendered useless - buried in the ground, unable to pick ourselves back up - regardless of the otherwise fortunate circumstances that surround us.

Often, these "storms" come in disguise. They hide in the shadows of the sun: obscure their presence in the ashes of commonality. Sometimes, they can even drive us to feelings of shame or guilt. We see our happy lives and we begin to wonder if these words are true:

“It’s all in your head.”

“Snap out of it!"

"You'll get over it soon."

In such moments, we often lose the fight. We’ve given up saying "no" to that empty pounding inside. 

We've allowed the rain to soak our bones, until we are numb to the tempest that surrounds us; until we are oblivious to the reality before our eyes - the knowledge that these “breaking points” can carry even the strongest of trees with the deepest of roots plummeting down upon a desolate earth.

Sometimes there is no clarity to be found in our defeat: we do not know why we have fallen. Perhaps there were no warning winds, no forecasts of rains – and perhaps we find that we seem to be the only ones experiencing the tumultuous storm – but of this much I am certain: no matter the storm, there is no weakness in such a submission.

You are not insane because you feel the pressure of a storm that does not seem to be pressuring others. You are not broken for falling to a wind that has not pushed down everyone else. I promise you, the winds are real, “the tempest is raging,” and you are not alone.

Storms come, and storms go – but they are there all the same. They can incapacitate us for a while – nobody can protect you from the reality of that – but just as everyone is capable of falling, so too are we capable of getting back up.

I’m reminded of a poem by Tolkien:

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.”

- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

May those who are poor, lost, withered, and cold find strength in the knowledge that they are not alone; they stand, rather, amidst the finest the world has to offer – men and women who have, themselves, risen from the depths and the ashes of human life, to inherit their birthright as rulers of the infinite heavens above.

We are all refugees in this storm.